Monday, January 23, 2006
A Renewed SpiritFor almost three weeks, I have been working out and keeping tabs of the things that I eat. I don't feel restricted in anyway because all of the foods that I eat are ones that I enjoy. I was in church yesterday and my pastor was discussing how the devil tricked Eve by making her feel like she was being cheated out of something. God told Adam and Eve that they could eat FREELY of everything in the garden but that one tree. That means that they could have had whatever they wanted in abundance as long as they obeyed God and did not partake of that ONE TREE. The devil made Eve feel like she was being deprived of something special, like all of a sudden she did not have enough or all that she could have. I must say this....how many of us have tried something because we thought that it would taste, feel, or just be different from all the rest that we have had? Sex included...Well, for all that we know the fruit could have tasted like any other fruit in the Garden of Eden. More and more I have come to realize that my body is MY TEMPLE; from my thoughts down to the things that I eat. I have to take care of myself because no one else will.
I went on a date last night with this guy who used to play pro-basketball and he knows that I am working out, watching what I eat and staying committed. Well, on our way to see Underworld:Evolution (GREAT MOVIE!!!), he asked me "What are you trying to achieve in the gym?" Instantly, I felt uptight because I felt that this was such a personal question. Inside, I did not want to answer him, but I did. I told him that I wanted to lose some "non-muscular mass" and tone. Then, he made a harmless and simple remark that opened my eyes to something that I am still struggling with....he said, "Your not fat. What is it that you call your flesh...something you called it when we were playing around the house the other day." I answered, "My FAT MEAT." I was instantly ashamed of myself. I had been trying so hard to say positive things about myself, but I still had a few issues to work on. From time to time, I look in the mirror and see someone beautiful and other times I see flaws. It's gonna take time, butand to be totally healed I must work on seeing beauty more than flaws. I must admit that I have gotten better but I still need work.
I have found that a lot of women have high self-esteem but low self- image. Can I get an amen? Meaning, I ain't gonna take any mess from anyone because I am worth more than that and I am better than that. However, I don't feel like I look attractive or aI see more flaws than beauty. I must say it again, a lot of women have this problem, and I mostly find it in my Black sistas. Often we are taught how to survive, and not give the chance to indulge in our beauty.
My final thought: Build up your daughters, sisters, aunts, mothers, and girlfriends. Tell them that they are beautiful.
Sizzle on that,
Southern Flame
